Silver Lantern
by Jaden Silver
Summary: Filia has no memories, no purpose, and no emotions. When she finds herself kidnapped by rogue Sinestro Corp lanterns and subject to fear experiments, she discovers a power within herself that could change the universe. As questions begin to pile up with few answers to be found, Filia sets out on a journey to find her past. But will she like what she finds?
1. Chapter 1

I open my eyes. I look around and at first I believe I am surrounded in darkness, with nothing but black meeting my eyes. Then my vision focuses. I can see the corners where the ceiling and walls meet, as well as strange objects hanging from the ceiling. I don't know what these objects are or what their purposes are, but it doesn't matter. I have a good view of the ceiling since I am lying on my back, but I can tell I'm not on the floor. I can't see the floor from the position I'm in, so I assume I'm on some sort of raised platform, like a table. I wonder how I know this. I think, try to remember how I would guess such a thing, what kind of prior knowledge would lead me to this conclusion, but nothing comes to mind. There are no memories. I try to remember more, how I got where I am and where this place is, but I remember nothing. Still, I am calm. It doesn't matter how I arrived or where I am or even why I'm here. Nothing matters.

I hear voices. They're strange and I can't understand what the words mean, but they grow louder so I know they are coming closer. Soon two figures who I assume are the owners of the voices come to stand on either side of me. They look nothing alike, one tall with green skin and the other with many more arms than his friend and skin the color of rust. The only similarity between them is the yellow and black uniform they both wear. I think that they must look so different because they come from different planets. I see my arms out of the corners of my eyes and realize I must also come from a different planet than either of them, since my silvery skin matches neither of theirs.

The two begin to speak to each other again. One of them says something to me but I don't understand it. I don't respond and he begins to speak louder. I know he wants me to react in some way but I don't know what he's saying so I remain silent. After a moment he stops speaking and hits me. My body reacts before I feel it, pulling me away from the source of the pain. I've never felt pain before and wonder if I am damaged, but I soon realize it's only a small injury. The two men lift me off the table and make me walk, leading me out of the room. The ground beneath my feet feels strange and I wonder if I've ever walked before. We stop in another room similar to the one I woke up in except this one has no table. They tie my hands to one of the things hanging from the ceiling and I find that in this position I can barely keep my feet on the ground. I try letting myself hang from my wrists but it hurts so I make the effort to touch the ground. While I'm experimenting with this the two in yellow leave the room.

I don't know how long I am alone in this room. After a while I feel tired from the effort of keeping my feet on the ground. Two more people enter the room. This time it's a man and a woman who look like they could be from the same species. I don't know how I know this, but it seems right. They both stand and stare for what seems like a long time. I give up keeping my feet on the ground and let myself hang from the chain in the ceiling. I can feel it cutting into my wrists but I don't care.

Finally, the man steps forward and speaks. His voice sounds different than the others, deeper and less harsh, but still I cannot understand what he says. He seems annoyed for a moment. The he holds up his hand and begins talking to it. I'm confused for a moment before I see the thin gold band on his finger; a ring. After a moment the man stops talking and holds his hand out toward me. I wonder what this means, when suddenly a voice begins to come from the ring. I can tell the ring is speaking in many different languages, but none of them make any sense to me.

The man becomes frustrated. He shouts at me and raises the same ringed hand, and I know he is about to hit me. My body braces for the impact before I have a chance to think, but the blow never comes. The woman has grabbed his arm and is speaking to him. He considers her words for a moment and seems to agree with whatever she said. He lowers his hand and storms out of the room. The woman's face changes slightly, the corners of her mouth pointing upward almost imperceptibly. She says something, and her voice sounds high-pitched and smooth, different from when she had spoken to the man before. I wonder what this might mean, but the thought is cut off by the man returning to the room. He is followed by the first two I had seen, still dressed in yellow, and I notice that they, as well as the woman, are all wearing rings like the one the man has.

They all talk for a while, and I notice that whenever they speak their rings seem to speak as well. I wonder if their rings are translating for them, but I am soon distracted by the pain in my wrists. I can see blood like liquid metal dripping down my arms from where the chain has cut into my skin. I try to support my weight with my feet again, but I am still tired from before and know I won't be able to hold it for long. The four seem to have finished their conversation, and the green one steps toward me, his mouth turning upward in the same expression the woman had had before. Light begins to flow from his ring and forms into a solid object in his hand. As I watch the light becomes a long stick, thicker at one end, with sharp spikes all over. Before I have a chance to wonder what this might be for, he swings the object low to the ground and hits my leg. Pain explodes in my mind and I hear a loud crack. My body reacts without my knowledge and I scream until I have no air left, but the pain is too much and I can't breathe again. The man hits me again in the other leg and I fall, hanging from my wrists, in too much pain to even think. The man raises the weapon for a third time and I feel something stir inside me; something terrible that I don't understand. Then the weapon hits me in the shoulder and the world goes black, my mind unable to take the pain anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

"Stop!" Kailan said. "She's unconscious. There's no use hurting her if she can't feel it." The green man let the construct fade away, obviously disappointed that he had only been able to strike three blows before the girl had fainted. "Leave us", he said, and the other lanterns did, leaving him alone with the woman and the mystery girl.

Kailan studied the girl for some time, trying to remember if he had ever seen her species before. Aside from the basic shape that was common to so many (Korugarians, humans, and his own species), she didn't look like anything he had seen before. He knew that the species he had seen were only a small fraction of what existed in the universe, yet it still annoyed him that he knew so little of this girl. "Keera", he said, addressing the woman at his side. "What do you think of her?"

The woman thought for a moment before answering. "I think she is intriguing, my love. She managed to sneak into our home without anyone noticing, yet she shows no understanding of who we are or where she is. She hasn't spoken a single word since we found her and seems to not understand anything we say. I would suspect that she is a spy sent by Sinestro, but if he had found us he would have come himself." She studies the girl with critical eyes before continuing. "She's surrounded by strangers who want to harm her, and yet she has shown no emotion. Have you noticed? Most beings would be frightened in a strange place with people they don't know tied hanging from a ceiling, but not her. At most she's appeared mildly curious."

"She screamed when Tokkal hit her", Kailan pointed out.

"Yes, she did", Keera mused. "But a scream is a reflex, one of the body's physical reactions to pain. In this context it has nothing to do with emotion. Had she reacted before being hit, perhaps we could have assumed differently."

Kailan began to walk around the girl as he spoke. "Perhaps she isn't sentient."

"Even animals know to shy away from an attack."

"True", Kailan agreed. "And besides, the ring said she shows signs of higher brain functions, like what would be seen in a sentient being. All she seems to be lacking is motions."

"More importantly" Keera said with hatred in her voice, "she is lacking fear. What if she is a spy for Sinestro? Suppose he's found a way to make his lanterns immune to fear. If so, our secret weapon will be useless."

Kailan considered this for a moment. "There's no evidence to suggest she came at Sinestro's orders. She has no ring or any other sign to show allegiance."

"Even so, a being like this could be a danger to our plans, "Keera persisted. "What if there's an entire planet filled with people immune to our fear? They would be impossible for us to conquer."

"Then we would slaughter them as an example to others. We will rule every corner of this universe."

"I don't doubt it, my love." Keera took his scaly blue hand and led him out of the room. "Still, it is a threat. We must be prepared in the event we have to face others who are immune to fear."

"What would you have me do?" Kailan asked, following her lead.

"Torture her. Find her weakness. If she does not know fear, you must introduce her to it. We cannot afford to let anything stand in our way." She floated upward a few inches to kiss him gently on the lips. "You will kill Thaal Sinestro and become the leader this corps needs." She whispered in his ear.

"With you at my side, I believe I can" he whispered back.

Keera landed back on the ground and stood at arm's length from Kailan. "I have to get back to the corps before my absence is noticed. While I am gone, find her weakness. Make her fear us."

"I will" Kailan assured her.

"I'll look forward to seeing your success when I return" Keera called back as she flew away.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up. I know I've fainted again and I try to think of how many times this has happened before. Is it nineteen or twenty? I'm not sure. The pain is still here, and I begin to wonder if it will ever go away. I remember the symbol burned into my back; the reason I passed out last time. It's the same symbol as the one on the yellow rings my captors wear. I wonder what the symbol means and why they would put it on me. I think they meant for it to somehow hurt beyond just the burns but I don't understand how or why. I think of the injuries I have. I wonder if they'll be permanent. My legs hurt the worst, and I think I won't be able to walk if they don't get better.

I see the man who must be the leader of the group standing in the corner. His skin is red and so dark he almost blends into the walls. He has the same look on his face that he always has; a face that means he's planning how to hurt me. He walks to the table where I am tied down and stands over me for a moment before raising a hand as though he'll hit me again. I don't react and he turns away, making a sound that I don't think is a word. He calls out and the two men I had first seen come to speak with him. He says something and they both nod their heads and move to stand on either side of me. The man stands near my head, so when I look up I see him upside down. He speaks for a long time and I wonder why he bothers. He must know by now that I can't understand him.

The man finishes speaking and holds his hand over my head with his fingers rolled into a ball. The symbol on the ring seems to be pointed directly at my eye so I can't help but stare at it. Light begins to pulse within the ring and I find that I can't look away. I stare into the ring, deeper and deeper, trying to find the source of the light. Suddenly the light gets brighter and begins to shine into my eyes like a beam. It hurts and I try to look away but I can't. I can't close my eyes and the men next to me are holding my head so I can't turn away. Pain explodes in my mind and I start to see shapes in the light. I see myself hurt and bleeding with legs so damaged I am unable to stand. I see the man and his followers with expressions that I know mean they will hurt me again. I remember every time they've hurt me and all the pain I've felt; the only memories I have.

The light gets stronger, and I feel something strange. It feels like something growing in my chest and pushing on my throat, and I remember that I felt this once before when I fainted for the first time. This time I don't have the option to faint. I think the light would keep me awake if I tried.

The feeling is growing stronger and I don't want it to even though I don't know why. I can't stop it no matter how much I try and I scream from the effort. The feeling drowns out all other thoughts. I can feel it pounding in my head. Suddenly, it's like the pressure breaks and the feeling fits in my mind, as natural as breathing. Now I know what this feeling is and why I had wanted to keep it away. This is fear. It's pure terror.

I try to pull away from the light but my head is pressed against the table. I scream as I pull my hands up to cover my eyes and realize I've broken the chains on my wrists. I push the man's hand away from my eyes but I can still see the light even without the ring. The two other men try to hold me down but I push them away and sit up. I'm scared and confused and I just want to keep them away so they can't hurt me again. I see the men and I see the same confusion I feel mirrored in their faces. I know they didn't expect this to happen. I look down at my hands and see yellow light coming from them. It's covering my arms and legs and shining from all of my skin.

The man steps toward me and I hold up my hands to keep him away. I don't expect this to stop him but I have to try. I can't let him hurt me again. Suddenly, two small yellow objects, like strange glowing discs, appear in front of my hands. The man stops and whisper's something. Then he shouts something and the two other men move to stand behind me. I am surrounded. I spin my head around, trying to see them all at once, not wanting to let any of them out of my sight. They each create a weapon with their rings and the fear in me grows stronger as I recognize the club they had used to break my legs the first day.

The man steps closer to me and I raise my hands higher, thinking this might stop him like it did the first time. A third disc appears in front of me but the man does not stop. I hear one of the men behind me and turn around in time to see the club flying toward my chest. I scream and the discs floating around me fly out and slice through the man. I see pain flash in his eyes for an instant before he falls to the ground, teal blood spilling from gashes in his throat and chest. The other two men rush toward me and I cover my head with my arms. I hear a strangled noise from one of the men and something crashes against the wall at the far end of the room. Then I hear a scream cut short and a thump like someone falling.

I open my eyes, not wanting to see what's happened but too afraid to not know. The man with too many arms is lying on the floor near his friend, one hand and his head both severed from his body. I see the last man lying against the wall on the other end of the room. I think he is dead but I can't tell. I want to find out; I need to know for sure, but I can't bear to go near him. I'm afraid that if he isn't dead he'll hurt me. Finally I convince myself to go check but I can't stand because my legs are hurt. I push myself off the table and nearly scream from pain when my legs hit the ground and crumple under me, bending in places I know they shouldn't. I drag myself to the man's side and place my hand on his head. I don't know how to check if someone is alive but somehow I feel it. There is no life left in him. They are all dead.

I drag myself further away from the man, still scared of him even while he's dead. I lean against the wall and close my eyes. I just want it all to go away. All the fear and all the pain; I want it all gone. I think about the yellow light coming from me, how it had somehow killed the men. I also think about the symbol on my back and I realize with terror that they turned me into one of them. Somehow they've made me like them, given me their power and symbol, and I don't want it. I don't want to be one of them. I don't want to live with this fear.

I realize as I think about it that I don't want to live. I remember the fear and pain. I think this is all there is in the entire universe. All I know is fear and pain. I see the men dead around the room and think that they must not be scared; they must not feel anything now. I see a broken piece of metal on the floor near me and reach out for it, noticing that one end is very sharp. I'm not exactly sure how to do this but I see the gash in one of the men's throats and think that this could work. I close my eyes and raise the metal to my throat, feeling its coolness as I press it against my skin.


	4. Chapter 4

Sinestro looked at the planet with a mixture of disgust and pride. Finally, he had tracked down the traitors. It had been more than six months since their leader, Kailan, had left the corp. Even worse, he had stolen nearly a hundred new rings, and shortly after two other lanterns had also left the corp. Since then Sinestro and his followers had been working nonstop to find them. Now, at last, Sinestro had found the planet they had fled to. His most trusted followers were with him now, waiting for his signal to attack.

Sinestro gave the word and all the lanterns flew down as one. Soon they came within view of a large complex. Sinestro waved his hand and a small group of lanterns broke away from the group to search for secondary entrances. Sinestro and his team flew to the main doors and entered without stopping. Once inside he told his ring to scan for heat signatures and vital signs. For a moment his ring showed four signals, then they disappeared until there was only one. This was odd since the rings were normally very precise and almost never wrong. Sinestro considered that it might be a trap but didn't think much of it. Whatever was waiting for him, he could face it.

As they flew through the complex, Sinestro sent some of the other lanterns to search the side passages and corridors they passed. He didn't want to take time away from finding the traitors, but he also didn't want to risk someone sneaking up on them. Soon they came upon a set of large double doors. According to his ring the only other living thing in the building was behind these doors. He made a hand signal to tell the other lanterns to be silent then slowly pushed the door open enough to look inside. There was a dim light coming from a far corner, but it wasn't bright enough to show the rest of the room.

Sinestro stepped back, made a large construct battering ram, and knocked the doors open wide. The moment he stepped through the doors, a yellow light as bright as a sun burst from the farthest corner of the room. The light soon lost its blinding quality but still remained fiercely bright. Sinestro noted the bodies that he could now see due to the light lying around the room. He recognized them immediately as lanterns that had left his corps. Sinestro wondered what had killed them but turned his attention back to the light. He signaled for the other lanterns to stay back as he moved forward. If Kailan was waiting for him behind the light, Sinestro wanted to handle it himself.

As he got closer, Sinestro could see that the source of the light was a person and prepared to attack. However, he realized after watching her for a moment that she wasn't a yellow lantern. She didn't have the uniform of a yellow lantern and she wasn't wearing a ring, yet he was certain she was the source of the light. As Sinestro studied the girl and debated if she was a threat to him, he noticed another body on the floor next to her. He recognized it as Kailan and stepped forward to see what had caused his death but stopped as the glowing girl spoke. She was saying something, repeating a phrase over and over while crying, but Sinestro couldn't understand her. He told his ring to translate but it said it did not recognize the language.

Sinestro stepped closer to her and she screamed and put her arms over her face. As she did, strange discs of light appeared in front of her. Sinestro stepped back when he saw them. How could this girl make constructs like this when she had no ring? He thought about his options and wondered if he should kill her when the girl began to speak again. Even though he couldn't understand what she was saying, Sinestro could clearly tell from her voice and body language that the girl was terrified. She cowered on the ground as though trying to make herself appear smaller and as she leaned forward Sinestro was able to see her back for the first time. There was a large scar, as though someone had burned something into her back, and as he stared he realized that it was his own corps' symbol.

Sinestro stopped thinking and stared at the scar for a moment. It reminded him of something he had seen before on himself, when Kyle Rayner had branded him with the green lantern symbol. He still remembered the burning pain from it, but even worse had been the knowledge that he would forever be marked with a sign from a place he no longer belonged. He began to get an idea of who this girl was and what had happened to her. He couldn't guess how she was able to use constructs or emit light without a ring, but the rest he understood. Sinestro assumed she must have been captured by Kailan and his people so they could practice ways to instill fear. Sinestro had never let him use innocent people for this purpose, which was one of the main reasons Kailan had left. He assumed that somehow during the torture the girl had managed to kill her captors but was too injured or too scared to leave.

Sinestro still didn't know what to do with her. Part of him still thought it would be best to kill her. He had no idea what limits there were to her power and this made her a danger to himself and his corps. At the same time, her power was also interesting and could prove valuable later on. As he debated these options he couldn't keep his eyes from drifting to her back. Soon the thoughts faded from his mind again and he felt an overwhelming guilt. _It's not your fault_, he told himself, _this is Kailan's doing. _Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that whatever had happened to this girl was ultimately his responsibility.

Sinestro sighed, thinking he would come to regret this decision, before speaking up. "I'm not going to hurt you" he said, his voice harsher than he'd meant for it to be. The girl looked up at him but did not seem to understand what he said. She said something and pointed to the dead man on the floor.

"I'm not like him", Sinestro said. "I'll help you." He took a step toward the girl and the construct discs immediately reacted, edging nearer to his throat and looking very sharp and menacing. "I won't hurt you" Sinestro repeated. The girl shook her head, still unable to understand him, and said something while pointing to Kailan's body. Sinestro looked and realized that she must recognize his uniform as the same as the others. The discs continued to move toward him and he decided he had to act quickly if he didn't want to fight her.

Sinestro took a deep breath and willed his shield aura and uniform to fade away; leaving him in the blue and black jumpsuit he always wore. To his relief the discs stopped moving toward him, but the still didn't go away. The girl looked curious but still scared and Sinestro knew that if he wasn't careful she would attack again. "Look, I don't want to hurt you" he said, trying to make his voice sound a bit friendlier. "I want to help."

Although she still couldn't understand him, something in Sinestro's voice and demeanor made the girl trust him. Sinestro watched as the discs slowly faded away and the light coming from her skin dimmed and disappeared before approaching the girl. He held out his hand to help her stand. Although she tried, she couldn't make her legs support her and stifled a cry of pain. Sinestro took a closer look and realized they were bent at odd angles and most likely broken. He bent down and cautiously picked her up, being careful not to scare her. Once he was holding her in a comfortable position he turned around and flew back to the rest of the lanterns, letting his uniform spread back over him.

Sinestro landed in front of his lieutenant, Arkillo, and told him to search the rest of the building. "If you find any more bodies, burn them along with these three here. Bring back any rings you find and make sure to bring Kailan's to me. Also, if you find any more living prisoners, bring them back alive." He told half the lanterns to stay and help Arkillo and the rest went back with him. Some of the others offered to carry the girl for him or to create a transport bubble for her, but Sinestro insisted on carrying her himself. Halfway through the journey she fell asleep in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

I look at my arm guiltily as the woman bandages it. There's a frown on her face and she's muttering something. When she's finished the woman looks at my face, sighs, and walks away. I know I shouldn't have done it. She's worked so hard to help me heal and keep me alive since I arrived here and all I did was give her more work.

I think about what I tried to do and it scares me. I hurt myself. I was so afraid of being hurt by the people who rescued me that I tried to kill myself to prevent it, and all I accomplished was hurting myself. I nearly laugh at how stupid I am; how stupid I had been.

I think about when it happened and why I did it. I had let the man called Sinestro take me away from that place. Even though he and his people scared me, I had believed I could trust him. I still had the piece of metal with me and decided to keep it. I didn't know why but it felt safer to have it, like a last option if something went wrong. I had begun to think I might not need it as he carried me away, and after a while I had fallen asleep.

When I woke up Sinestro was gone and I was once again lying down on a table. People in yellow and black uniforms were standing around me and I panicked, feeling the same power grow inside me that had killed my captors before. One of the people said something and another flew out of the room. A few moments later Sinestro came into the room. He spoke to me, although I didn't understand it, then he spoke to the others. Everyone left except the woman and Sinestro. She bandaged my wounds while Sinestro spoke, then they both left.

I sat in the room wondering what would happen now and when they'd come back when the fear set in again. I began to think that maybe it was just a trick. Maybe they just wanted me to think I was safe before torturing me again. I thought they wanted to hurt me for killing their friends. I remembered the metal that I still had with me, and how I had almost used it before Sinestro found me. As I thought the panic and terror built inside me, and I decided it would be best if I killed myself before anyone came back. I didn't want them to stop me, or worse, hurt me for what I was about to do.

The woman entered the room as I brought the metal to the skin of my wrist. She shouted something and I quickly made the cut before she had a chance to stop me. She rushed forward and took the metal away from me while she wrapped a hand around my arm to stop the bleeding. I tried to stop her but she gave me such a fierce look I was too afraid to act.

I snap out of these memories as Sinestro bursts through the door. He talks to the woman for a moment before coming to see me. He says nothing; just stares at me. I see a look in his eyes that I don't recognize, but behind it I see fear. He takes my hand and pulls it toward himself so he can have a closer look at my wrist. For a moment I want to pull away, afraid of what he might do, but some instinct tells me I can trust him and I relax. His hand hovers over the bandage for a moment and his eyes close. He says something over his shoulder and the woman leaves. When he looks at me again I can see pain written on his face.

"I'm sorry", I say, knowing I've hurt him to understand that I know it was a mistake. He shakes his head and says something. I wish we could somehow understand each other and settle for taking the hand hovering over the bandage and holding it in my own. His eyes meet mine and I wonder if he can see what I feel the same way I can see emotions in him. I see so many things I don't understand in his eyes. There are feelings and emotions I don't have words for or even know how to feel, but I also see fear and guilt, two things I think I know too much about.

We stay like this for a few minutes before he pulls his hands back and looks away. His face is once again unreadable; every emotion hidden from my sight. He says something and from his tone I think he is asking a question. I shake my head to tell him that I don't understand and he sighs. I feel like sighing too. It's very frustrating to have people constantly talking to me and still be unable to answer.

I think he wants to know where I came from and how my power works. I've seen him and the people who follow him use a similar power, but theirs always seems to generate from their rings. I have no ring, so I think he want to know how I can have this power without one. The truth is, even if I was sure this is what he's asking and even if he could understand me, I still could not answer this question. I don't know how my power works. I also don't know where I come from. I don't remember how I got to the place where I was tortured. I only remember being there.

Sinestro asks me another question. Again I shake my head. He says something that's a mix between a question and a shout and I begin to glow with fear. He sees my reaction and takes a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. I know he didn't mean to scare me and try to make the light coming from my skin fade, but I don't know how to control it. After a few moments I manage to force the fear away and the light fades but does not disappear completely.

Sinestro thinks for a moment before speaking again. He places a hand on his chest and says "Sinestro". I nod. This much I understand. He is Sinestro. He then points to me and I shake my head, not understanding. He repeats the motion and I realize he's asking for my name. I try to think of it and decide that I don't have one. There is a word Kailan used to call me but I think it is more of an insult than a name and do not want to be called that again. "I don't know", I whisper after trying to remember. Sinestro nods and repeats the phrase and I realize he must have mistaken it for my name. I don't know how to explain the mistake to him but decide it isn't important. These people have to call me something and I suppose 'I don't know' is as good as anything else.

Sinestro says something then leaves. While I'm alone I repeat my new name out loud, testing how it sounds. I say it slowly stretching out the sounds. "Fi-Li-Ah." I say it again, faster. "Filia." I like the sound and decide once again that it suits me. Even to myself, I am unknown.


	6. Chapter 6

Sinestro stood near the door, waiting for the doctor to be done checking on Filia. He already knew what the report would be. Most of the girl's wounds were fully healed. Only her back and legs still showed signs of the trauma she had suffered. The doctor had told him before that Filia's legs were too badly damaged for her to walk again, and the cuts on her back would most likely scar.

Still, she was alive and physically she seemed to be getting better every day. She was certainly learning quickly. Sinestro had started teaching her Korugarian shortly after she was rescued. Now, only a few weeks later, she had nearly mastered the language. Once they had been able to understand each other Sinestro had asked her where her home was. Filia had explained that she had no memories before her captivity and didn't know where she came from. She said the first thing she remembered was waking up and being found by Kailan's men, but most of her memories of her captivity were difficult for her to remember.

Sinestro attributed this lack of memory to a phenomenon he called fear poisoning. He had seen it a few times before in people who had come across the fear entity Parallax. He couldn't think of how Filia had become infected, but he suspected it had something to do with the strange ring he had found on Kailan's body. Those with the sickness were often gripped with crippling and unexplainable fears they were unable to overcome, as well as memory loss. Sinestro only knew a few people who had ever overcome the sickness, and they were Green Lanterns.

That's why Sinestro was now waiting to speak to Filia. She was healing in every other way she could but her fear had shown no signs of fading. He knew that no one could lie for very long in such a heightened state of fear. She had already tried to kill herself to escape the fear once, and although she hadn't tried to hurt herself since he didn't think it was safe to leave her alone. He needed to find a way for her mind to heal before she was too badly damaged by the fear.

Once again, Sinestro questioned his actions. He knew he shouldn't be concerned with this girl. She wasn't part of his corp and therefore her fate was none of his business. He knew the rumor amongst his lanterns was that he wanted to study her power and use it for the corp. Although he had thought of this, it wasn't the reason Sinestro had first chosen to help her. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew it involved the scar on her back. It reminded him so much of his own that he couldn't help but feel sympathy when he first saw it. With that sympathy had come guilt. He couldn't ignore the fact his own people had done this to her, and in his mind that made it his fault. Normally he wouldn't care who got hurt as a result of his actions but for some reason he felt responsible for this girl. He wanted to do what was best for her, even if it didn't benefit himself or his corp.

The door opened beside Sinestro and the doctor stepped out. She looked at him and said "same as before. I've done everything I can for her, but I can't get her walking again." Sinestro nodded and dismissed her with a wave of his hand. It's what he had expected. The doctor flew away and Sinestro entered the room.

Filia was sitting up with her back facing the door. Even though it was covered with bandages he could still imagine the deep cuts spilling bright silver blood. Sinestro pushed the thought from his mind and moved around the table so Filia could see him. She jumped when she saw him out of the corner of her eye but relaxed a little when she recognized him.

"Filia" he said by way of greeting as he created a construct chair facing her. "There's something I need to ask you" He said, sitting down.

"What is it?" She asked, a pale yellow aura beginning to glow on her skin.

"Do you feel safe here?" Sinestro asked.

Filia thought for a moment before answering. "No. I know I have no reason to be afraid here. No one here has ever tried to hurt me or done anything to scare me, but I'm still afraid. I don't know how to not be."

Sinestro nodded. It's what he had suspected. She wasn't just afraid of his lanterns, she was afraid of everything. "I think I know what's causing your fear" he said. "Unfortunately, I don't know how to cure it." Filia's shoulders drooped and Sinestro added quickly "but I know some people who might be able to help."

"Who?" Filia asked.

"Green Lanterns."

"What are they?"

"They are like my corp but instead of using the yellow power of fear, they use the green power of will" Sinestro answered.

"So they're . . . your allies?" Filia asked, trying to remember the right word. "Your friends?"

"No" Sinestro said. "They are one of my corp's greatest enemies."

"Why would they help me? If they are your enemy then won't they try to hurt me?"

"They are our enemies, but most of them are still good people. They will want to help you because you are an innocent victim of my people."

"No" Filia interrupted him. "I'm a victim of people who left your corp. What they did isn't your fault."

"Whatever the case," Sinestro said, annoyed that she had been able to recognize his guilt, "they will want to help you because you have been hurt by their enemy and have nowhere to go."

"What if they can't help me?" Filia said after a moment of silence.

"Green lanterns are chosen for their ability to overcome fear" Sinestro explained. "If anyone can help with this, they can."

"What if they can't anyway? What if I can't be healed?"

Sinestro place his hand over Filia's, an action he had used often to help calm her down. "No matter what, you are always welcome here. If anything goes wrong you can come back. But it would be better if you let them try so you don't have to live with the fear."

Sinestro looked into Filia's shining eyes, and she stared back into his dark ones. He didn't look away until she nodded her head and whispered "alright". She sat up straighter and said more loudly "alright, I'll do it. Where do we go?"

"To the center of the universe" Sinestro answered. "A planet called Oa."


	7. Chapter 7

Hal Jordan sat on the asteroid and waited. _This is a bad idea_, he thought as he made a baseball with his ring and absentmindedly tossed it from hand to hand. _Sinestro says he needs my help, I know it's probably a trap, and yet here I am. There has got to be something wrong with me. _He glanced around to make sure he was alone. The asteroid was normally a safe meeting place, constantly orbiting Oa but staying far enough away from the planet for visitors to go undetected. However, it was also a common spot for other green lanterns to visit, so there was a risk of running into other people here.

Hal remembered when he had first come here. He was still a rooky then, and his mentor Sinestro had taken him there to yell at him for some mistake or other. Since then it had become one of his favorite places to come and think, and he and the other green lanterns from earth would often come here to talk. After the Blackest Night Hal and Sinestro had agreed they needed a way to contact each other in case of another emergency, and they had chosen the asteroid as a meeting place. Hal had also told the leaders of some of the other corps about the asteroid. He liked knowing people like Sinestro or Attrocitus had to meet him in a place where he could call the rest of the corp for help if necessary.

A spot of yellow appeared in the distance. The baseball dissolved in Hal's hand and he stood. Within a moment the approaching shape was close enough for Hal to see that Sinestro wasn't alone. There was a girl with him, travelling inside of a transport bubble. Sinestro landed a few yards in front of Hal with the bubble hovering a few feet behind him. Hal couldn't see much of her Sinestro, but he thought there was something off about the girl. She was sitting with her legs bent strangely beneath her, and she seemed to be glowing, although it was difficult to tell through the walls of the bubble.

"Jordan" Sinestro said with a nod. "I have to admit, I wasn't entirely sure you'd show up."

_Neither was I_, Hal thought before speaking. "What's this about, Sinestro?"

"I need your help." Sinestro said the words as though they brought physical pain.

Hal was surprised. Normally it would be like pulling teeth to get Sinestro to admit he needs help. This time he had come right out and said it. _This must be something serious_, Hal thought. "What do you need help with?"

Sinestro explained briefly how he had found Filia and what had happened to her since then, as well as his theory about her fear poisoning. Hal was surprised to hear that some of Sinestro's lanterns had tried to overthrow him. Most of his followers were loyal to the point of death. He was even more surprised to hear about Filia's powers. He had never heard of anything like it before.

"So, she has all the same abilities as a yellow lantern?" he asked.

"Nearly. She can make constructs of a sort, although they can't form a specific image. Similarly, she can make a personal shield, but it tends to spread out further than it should as though it can't exactly hold her shape" Sinestro explained.

"Can she fly?" Hal tried to see around Sinestro by leaning to the side, but it was no use. He wouldn't be able to see Filia until Sinestro stepped out of the way.

Sinestro shook his head. "Once when she was startled she flew to the ceiling. Since then she has been unable to, but I believe she could if she was motivated to."

Hal thought about this for a while. He had no problem helping this girl if she needed help, but he wasn't sure it was true. It wasn't like Sinestro to do so much to help a stranger. It was even less like him to hand a potentially powerful alley over to his enemies. "Why are you doing this? Why do you care about her?" He asked skeptically.

"Despite what you may think, I do understand the concept of responsibility, Jordan" Sinestro said defensively.

"Responsibility?" Hal asked his tone accusing. "Everything that's happened to this girl has happened because of you. You train your lanterns to spread fear throughout the universe, and then wonder why they do things like this. And you want to talk about responsibility? She and countless others have suffered through the actions of your lanterns, which makes their suffering your fault."

"I know!" Sinestro snapped. "That is why I want to help her." He took a moment to compose himself before continuing. "Will you help her or not? I do not wish to waste any more time here if your answer is no."

"Of course I'll help" Hal said, taken back by the outburst. Sinestro usually made an effort to appear calm, as though he wasn't really concerned with whatever was happening. Judging by his reaction, Hal thought he'd struck a nerve. "Are you sure Oa is the best place for her?" He asked, hoping the change in subject would calm Sinestro down. Hal wasn't in the mood for a fight.

"Green lanterns are trained to overcome fear. It is a skill Filia needs to learn."

"What about the Guardians? You know how they react to things they don't understand or that could pose a threat to them." Hal knew the Guardians wanted all the other lantern corps gone. He didn't think they'd react very well to someone with the capabilities of a lantern without the use of a ring.

"Then don't tell the Guardians about her powers. I've asked and she says she can hide them if she needs to, as long as she doesn't become too afraid."

Hal thought for a moment before asking "mind if I speak to her myself?" Without waiting for an answer he stepped around Sinestro and walked toward Filia.

"She speaks Korugarian" Sinestro said as Hal stopped at the edge of the bubble.

Hal told his ring what language to translate into and dropped to one knee so he was at eye level with the sitting girl. "Hi. My name's Hal. What's yours?"

"Filia" she replied.

Although she mostly looked curious, Hal also saw a trace of fear in her eyes. He lifted a hand to brush some hair out of his eyes and she flinched as though expecting to be hit. Hal quickly lowered his hand and apologized for frightening her.

"It's not your fault" she said, trying to stay calm. "Everything scares me. It's not just you."

Hal talked to her for a little while longer, asking a lot of the same questions Sinestro had already asked her. Her answers matched what Sinestro had told him, and he didn't think anyone as terrified as Filia could lie very well, so Hal assumed it was true. Still, part of him thought it was too good to be true. None of this fit with the Sinestro he knew. Even the confident attitude seemed to be slipping. _It doesn't matter_, he told himself. _This girl needs help and green lanterns might be the only ones who can help her. That's what's important._

Hal turned back to Sinestro and said "you're right. This looks like fear poisoning. Although you have more experience with it than I do."

"You have experience recovering from it. That's what she needs."

Hal stood up and started making his own transport bubble. "I have to get back to Oa. If I'm gone too long the Guardians will start asking questions and then I'll have to start making up answers."

Sinestro helped transfer Filia to the new bubble. "I must also go. I have other business to attend to." He turned to Filia and said "goodbye. I hope to see you again." Filia nodded in response.

Sinestro began to fly back the way he had come and Hal turned back toward Oa. Filia put her hand on the side of the bubble and watched Sinestro getting further away. Something didn't feel right. He had saved her life and helped her when no one else would, and she didn't know if she'd ever see him again. She didn't want to let him go without expressing gratitude for all he had done for her. "Wait" she said as Hal began to move in the opposite direction. Filia let the yellow aura she had been holding back spread over her skin and pushed against the wall of the bubble. It immediately dissolved around her fingers and she flew toward Sinestro.

Filia was surprised at what she was doing. She had acted without thinking at first and was now shocked at how easy flying was. When she had flown half the distance to Sinestro she called out his name and he turned to face her. She didn't slow but continued until she hovered about a foot away from him. Without hesitating Filia wrapped her arms around his chest and whispered "thank you."

Sinestro hesitated, startled, before lightly placing his hands on her back. He then took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her back to arms length. Filia stared into his eyes for a moment longer before turning and flying back to Hal.

Hal tried his best to hide his surprise and amusement at what had just happened. . He had never seen anyone hug Sinestro before, but what was even more shocking was that Sinestro had returned the hug, albeit reluctantly. It was all too weird to even think about.

Hal offered Filia the transport bubble, but she declined with a shake of her head. She had been carried enough during this journey. She wanted to finish it on her own.


	8. Chapter 8

I look around the room. This place is so different from where I used to be. There's white and green on the walls, the ceiling, the floor, everywhere. It's so bright and beautiful yet still somehow cold and artificial. It's very unlike the dark red walls carved into the surface of Sinestro's planet.

I think about the people here and how they too are very different. I feel no fear from them. I myself am scared often, but I do not feel fear from those around me. In some ways it is unnerving, seeing nothing I recognize in the people around me, but it is also comforting. I don't feel the need to adopt their fears, which makes it easier to focus on controlling my own.

I am curious about what they feel, however. Like Sinestro, they each feel many different things with one much stronger than the others, but unlike Sinestro, I cannot recognize what it is they feel. I see the doctor, Soranik Natu, working with some machinery at the other end of the room. I focus and see all the emotions within her, but they are like shades of grey. I cannot recognize a single one of them. Soranik notices me watching and comes over to see me.

"Is everything alright?" She asks. "Do you need something?"

"No", I say as I look away from her. I find it difficult to look directly at people when talking. It makes me nervous. "I was just thinking."

"If you ever need anything, let me know" she says. Soranik turns as though she'll leave, then abruptly turns back to face me. "What do you think of it here? Are you happy?"

I think for a moment. I am less afraid here, so it is an improvement. There have even been points where I feel no fear at all. These moments scare me, however. At these times the fear isn't replaced with anything, it simply ceases to exist. It reminds me of before I first felt fear. I didn't feel anything then, and these times are similar. I simply feel nothing. I believe this would be hard for the others to understand since they are so full of emotions all the time. I am not sure if this would count as being happy. To me it is just confusing. I finally raise and then drop my shoulders in a gesture I have seen Hal Jordan use a few times to show lack of knowledge.

"Are you bored?" Soranik asks.

"There's nothing I want to be doing" I say, trying to think of how to describe it.

"But you don't want to just sit here, either?" Soranik guesses.

I think for a moment before answering. "I want to understand. I want to understand what I feel and what I can do and why I can do it. I want to understand you and Hal and all the other people here. I want to understand the things I see in you that I can't recognize." I hesitate for a moment before adding, "And I want to know where I come from. I want to know who I am and if there are others like me."

"Most of that I don't know the answers to" Soranik says. "But I'll help with what I can. Hal is currently trying to find your species in the Oan records. The Guardians have more knowledge of the universe than any other people who have ever existed, and they have recorded billions of species. Still, that is only a fragment of the sentient species in the universe, so it's possible he'll find nothing. As for your power, I have no idea where that comes from. My ring can't trace where it's coming from, it just keeps telling me you are the source of the energy. I don't know why you have this power, but from what I've seen during my time as a green lantern I do know one thing. Power like this doesn't exist without a reason. I don't believe in fate or gods or anything like that, but if you have a power like this than I believe you are meant to use it for something."

"What purpose is that?" I ask. "What am I supposed to use it for?"

"That's up to you", she tells me. "The yellow lanterns use their power to do whatever they want. They use fear to manipulate and terrorize people to serve their own purposes. Green lanterns use it to help people. We police the universe and try to stop people like Sinestro. Many others have power and they all use it for different things. It's your choice to do whatever you want with it. What would you like to do?"

I think about this. What do I want to do? I want to know so many things, but what would I do with this knowledge? I think of the examples Soranik provided. I know most of the universe would consider helping people to be the morally right choice, but I find no particular appeal in the idea. What is the purpose of helping people? I know it is what the green lanterns do. I do not know why. What is the reason behind it? I also think about the yellow lanterns. I think of what has been done to me and know I do not wish to do that. Hurting others would only remind me of how I have been hurt, which would add to my terror. Still, I wonder once again why I was hurt. I know Kailan intended to scare me, but I do not understand the purpose. What was the reason behind his actions? I don't understand why he did what he did, but I do know there are others like him out there. This thought leads me to my answer.

"I just want to be left alone," I tell Soranik.

"What about your gift?" She asks. "What you can do is special. You should use it for something."

"I don't want to use it for anything. I know many people would consider my power a gift, but I don't care about it. I just want to stop being scared. As long as I get that, I don't care what happens."

"How can you be so . . . so apathetic about this? There are people out there who need help. People who are in situations just like you were and you could be the only one that can save them. You really don't care?" Soranik asks.

"No, I don't." I see her disgust upon hearing my answer and try to explain. "I can see that you believe what you are saying. You're so full of conviction. You want to help people that have been hurt and you even became a doctor to do it. You believe in helping those who cannot help themselves." I pause, trying to think of how to describe it. "I don't feel anything like that. I don't have any great belief. I don't feel drawn to some cause I can fight for. I just don't want to be hurt anymore."

"So you just want to take care of yourself?" When I nod, she continues. "You have more in common with Sinestro than I thought." Soranik turns to leave.

"I am sorry if I've upset you," I say as she nears the door.

She turns back to face me. I see many things I don't understand pass through her mind before her face settles into a neutral expression. "You've been through a lot. It's understandable that you'd want to avoid any more pain." Her eyes soften as she speaks. "I guess it's just hard for me to hear that anyone with power like this would want to do nothing with it. When I was given my ring, I couldn't wait to start using it. But I shouldn't judge you based off of my own experiences. It's not my place to tell you what to do with your life, and I am sorry."

"Thank you," I say. My final thought as she leaves is that in many ways she reminds me of Sinestro.

* * *

(Sorry this took so long. I got completely lost on this chapter and had to start over a few times, but for better or for worse it is finished. Feel free to let me know what you think of the story so far.

-J)


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